Philosophers World Cup: Round of 16 A

Welcome to the first day of the knockout stage. Today sees the contestation of the first two matches in the round of 16. Brazil meets South American Cinderallas Chile, while European powerhouses Greece and England square off. Match reports and a recap follow after the break. As always, refer to the introduction for an explanation of this series.




Brazil vs Chile

Chile have become on the darlings of this tournament, but they will have a hard time upsetting Brazil the same way they did to the Dutch. Chile have the advantage of using their majority language as their preferred corpus, but playing with the Spanish corpus has not managed to stop Brazil so far.

Corpus: Spanish

First Half: Oswald de Andrade (BRA) vs José Toribio Medina (CHI)

Deciding to save their star during the group stage, Brazil finally unleashes the cannibal Oswald de Andrade. But a funny detour is taken on route to Brazil’s anticipated victory. Chile’s prolific historian José Toribio Medina scores an early goal while de Andrade is unable to create any solid scoring opportunities for Brazil. As we enter the half, it appears that the clock has yet to strike midnight for these plucky Cinderellas from Chile.

First Half Goals: Chile 1


Second Half: Rubem Alves (BRA) vs Juan Ignacio Molina (CHI)

Second Half Goals: Chile 1

Chile turns to another historian in the second half and yet again it pays off early as Juan Ignacio Molina scores an early goal giving Chile a two-goal lead. Brazil look dumfounded by these developments and are still unable to find the net. The whistle for full time blows and the home team exits the tournament. Chile, who was not expected to even win a game at the Philosophers World Cup, now find themselves in the quarter-finals.


Final Score:
Brazil  0:2  Chile

Greece vs England

Both of these teams have the talent to advance well beyond the round of 16. However, thanks to the way that the draw was made, only one of them can advance to the quarter-finals. This match will be in the rarely utilized Italian corpus (only Greece and Italy use it), which should favor the Greeks.

Corpus: Italian

First Half: Gregory Palamas (GRE) vs John Stuart Mill (ENG)

Greece makes the questionable decision of relying on Late Middle Ages theologian Gregory Palamas in the first half while England makes the rather utilitarian choice of John Stuart Mill. Mill scorches the vaunted Greek defense for two goals, giving England an early and possibly insurmountable lead.

First Half Goals: England 2


Second Half: Socrates (GRE) vs John Locke (ENG)

The Greeks come out for the half looking suspiciously confident. And there’s why, as it soon becomes apparent that they will be using Socrates to lead their attacks. England turns to John Locke to counter this, but even when using the ‘single-name’ loophole, Locke is unable to keep up with the fabulous Grecian striker. Socrates nearly single-handedly levels the match, sending this one to extra time.

Second Half Goals: Greece 2


Extra Time: Plato (GRE) vs Mary Wollstonecraft (ENG)

In extra time, the Greeks come out still energized from their second half comeback. England are utilizing early feminist Mary Wollstonecraft, but her name is too esoteric to fully take advantage of the ‘single-name’ loophole that comes up when playing a team like Greece. Suddenly, Plato, arguably the best player in the world who has thus far been largely unseen at this competition, scores an absolute cracker from outside the box. The English are not entirely discouraged by this, but poor pass leads to Plato running through the English defense to score his second goal in extra time and put this one away. England are done in the round of 16, while Greece moves on to play Chile in the quarter-finals.

Extra Time Goals: Greece 2


Final Score:
Greece  2(2):2(0)  England


Today was one of the more exciting days of this Philosophers World Cup, with an upset and a match that went to extra time. Brazil had thus far done well using the Spanish corpus, but Chile gave them quite the shock with their even greater success in that corpus. Perhaps if a Portuguese corpus was available the match would have ended differently for the Brazilians, but rather than dealing in counterfactuals, let us instead celebrate the impressive run by the Chileans. The England-Greece match went the distance, largely due to the Greek manager deciding to keep the likes of Herodotus and Aristotle on the bench. This controversial move was rendered mute by Greece’s comeback in the second half and extra time on the play of two of the best players in the world. England can be proud of their performance here today, but are still no doubt kicking themselves for letting their group stage match against Italy get away from them.

Relevant quarter-final
Chile vs Greece

Complete knockout stage bracket can be viewed here.


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